I'm a Giant Mess (and that's okay)
Have you ever tell yourself, ''My life is an absolute mess. I have no idea what the hell I am doing"?
Perhaps you are encountering problems and you don't even know where to begin. Adulting is not easy as ABC. I feel like I'm a broken record for saying the same thing over and over again. It always ends terribly for me. I sit myself down and tell myself how I'm going to start cleaning the house and paying my bills on time, doing my day job, going to gigs, finding a part-time job and blogging. And most of the time, I feel I'm a truly definition of "Giant Mess".
I always caught myself whispering, "Am I supposed to know what to do? Who let me be an adult? Am I too old to want my mom? Should I have life figured out now?"
I prepare for my new life as an adult like some people prepare for the apocalypse. The first day or two of my plans usually goes okay. For a little while, I actually feel grown-up and responsible adult. I held my head high and look at the other responsible people with that glowing eyes that says, "I'm responsible now, too. Just look at my groceries." This is mistake. There's no manual to growing up.
It's like I think that adulthood is something can be earned like a trophy. Thinking that I've earned it I gave myself permission to recover or procrastinate more than usual. And because of this, I am forced to throw all my energy into trying to be adult again. It always ends the same way, drained and haggard. I'm in a state of disarray while still trying to keep myself composed. Bullet Journal is my one way of keeping my thoughts straight. I think the main reason it work for me so well is becuse Bullet Journaling is flexible. So even though it's not a specific way of planning, I have everything going on in my life written down somewhere in my journal so I can refer to it.
Another thing that I remind myself during the breakdowns is accept that YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL. As I said, I was frustrated and discouraged that I just wasn't getting it all done and those feelings made me even more a giant mess. However, I've been trying to accept that I can't do it all - and that it is okay! I recognize how lucky I am to be living such a busy and full life!
Since I'm working on accepting that I can't do it all most days, I make sure that I try to take to binge. It may not help me get my life together but it does help me keep my sanity about me. And let's be real, failing sucks. But guess what? The world goes on. You will wake up tomorrow and the world will be still turning which means you have another chance to get back up on your feet. No one has it all. No one. Not you. Not me. Not Kim Kardashian. No matter who it is, I assure you that they too are dealing with something they don't like.
So, if you are currently on a state of being a giant mess, here's my advice: give yourself a break and breathe. You gotta start somewhere, right? Get up off the couch and go do it! We're all busy. Emails. Groceries that need to bought. Events. Pay Bills. Because that's life. Life is busy. There always be things that need to be done, people that you need to see, events that you need to go.
Love,
Eya
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