Into the Darkness

Kurt Cobain, Chris Cornell and yesterday it's Linkin Park front man Chester Bennington. The whole world was shocked on the news that Chester was found dead on his residence at Los Angeles. Even me, I can't accept the fact that he's gone, it was like yesterday before his death I'm listening to their songs. It's my daily routine every morning I arrived at the office. And the next morning, I woke up with a very heartbroken news that my idol committed suicide due to depression. My first question as if Chester could answer me is "Why Chester? Why?"

Many people think it's just being sad, when it's actually the feeling of severe dejection. People don't quite understand the story and by the story the battle with multiple mental illnesses, especially depression.

Depression is not simply change of the mood or a sign of weakness. It is real medical condition with many emotional, physical, behavioral and cognitive symptoms. A condition in which a person feels discouraged, hopeless, unmotivated, or disinterested in life in general. When these feelings lasts for a short period of time, it may be a case of "the blues". But when such feelings lasts for more than two weeks, it's like a major depressive episode. Mental illness is not as visible as broken arm. It's harder to identify. While some people describe depression as living in a black hole, others feel lifeless and empty. Men in particular may even feel angry and restless. No matter how you experience it, depression is different from sadness.

Suicide might seem like a really good idea, or at least a very tempting idea at a particular moment. It's true! People who are depressed don't fear death.



"Its like drowning. It feels like your head is burning in pain."

"I feel like ending it all."

"What's the point on going on? I simply don't see a future worth living."

These are the thoughts that might popped up on a depressed person. The decision to commit suicide can be a very impulsive one.



Chester, for example, he had small part in my life. I've never met him but his talents brought me joy at various stages of my life. He saved me but I am not able to saved him.

I read and did some research about depression and suicidal before writing this blog. I became sadder while reading articles about it. I can't imagine how these people struggles before ending their own lives. Yes, I may not fully understand their battle and how it feels. According to what I have read, they don't see it as a suicide in those moments, they don't view it as killing themselves. The way they imagined it is like they were just going to sleep. Just a chance to finally be at peace. The way it came to their head was almost like a  release, a release from a struggle and pain that they felt they no longer cope with. I think that's why people leave their wives, kids,and friends behind. It's just that they can't fight it anymore.

If we let the storms pass and choose to reflect, we come out better than never. You have gifts to share to the world. And when the darkness comes, always remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you still intend to attempt suicide, I'll encourage you to call emergency hotline ( 804-4637; 09175584673), or go to an emergency room talk to somebody... anybody.